I could start by ranting about all the complications I need to face while handlng the toddler. But let me start by just saying it is extremely hard.

For someone who has medical issues which include being physically challenged, it’s a constant struggle. Physically challenged in my case is the problem with balance. Because of this, most times, I’d walk like I’m tipsy and carrying my son pose a definite threat. I wouldn’t be too scared if it didn’t actually happen but it did. I accidentally slipped my son off my grip as I lack strength to stabilize myself and I needed strength to control my swaying self. I felt a terrible guilt but fortunately, it wasn’t a bad fall. He cried still and that was enough to urge myself not to carry my son too much while walking, lest I couldn’t muster enough strength. I was also adviced against it by the doctors but I can be defiant especially when my son reaches out for me. I just cannot refuse. Of course, when people expect the mother to care for the child without knowing the truth; it’s crazy hurtful.

In addition, sometimes my son has a repelling force with me and would refuse my attention no matter what. As much as I want to be a useful mother, he won’t let me anyway. Double whammy. I got fed-up so much that I ignore his whims and do other stuff like preparing his meals for example. It makes me feel useful at least.

This is when I really need the help from my family to care for my son and handle him. I really don’t want to but I have to. They are more than willing to help as well despite me feeling all kinds of bad. My son gets along very well with them too so I have to bite the bullet and accept whatever works. Whenever I’m out with my family, they would take turns to carry the little boy who’s getting heavier by the day. 😄

Support from family is one of the vital things to move forward. I guess I could say I am blessed to have that and hope those in similar situation will in time, get the support they need. 🙂